four letter word

wait.
i have a very frustrating relationship with that word....love/hate if you will. i cringe when i hear it because like most americans, i have an issue with instant gratification. i want what i want when i want it. on my time. i even find myself fixing cereal to avoid waiting the 2 minutes for my delicious oatmeal to cook in the microwave. it's ridiculous.
recently that four letter word was an enemy of mine and i could not accept hearing it. i wanted answers immediately, i wanted to know my future. why? so i could stop worrying and stop planning my life around where i want to be in 2, 5, 20 years. i wanted God to clearly speak to me that yes i will get married, yes i will find a job i love, yes i will have kids, yes my life will be perfect (unrealistic, i know); i didn't want to have to wait/worry if my desires will be met.
faithless. 
God, in His perfect love, is screaming to me that i need to STOP PLANNING. stop wishing...and wait.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." psalm 37:4
"For I know the plans I have you...plans to give you a hope and a future." jer. 29:11
"Be still and know that I am God." psalm 46:10


sometimes i'm amazed how hard it is for me to let go of my hopes and my fears. and to just be still. and trust the One who loves me most. who DELIGHTS in me.
the times where waiting is near torture are also the times where my relationship with Him strengthens. i am forced to trust Him and search for His comfort and deliverance. He brings us into these circumstances to reveal His glory, not just when the waiting is over, but during the process. i need constant reminder that the way i respond to waiting should reflect my trust in Christ. and then, whatever the outcome...i rejoice.
For He is God, and He is always good.