prone to wander

yoga update: still loving it. did inverted poses today (shoulder stand and head stands) it feels cool to do, but when i saw other people doing it, it just looked freaky...i don't think our bodies are supposed to bend that way.
now on deeper level..

some of my most beautiful times spent with Jesus are on my roadtrips home. it's either 3 hours of me and my fleshly thoughts (otherwise known as satans playground) or 3 hours of uplifting, entertaining podcasts and music. Past experiences have shown me that the latter is such a better use of my time, even if i get weird looks from other drivers as they see me jamming to my "jesus loves me" playlist.
but yesterday, as i was leaving the dallas winter wonderland, the hymn "Come Thou Fount" (David Crowder version...so great.) came on. i've sung this song so many times without fully grasping the lyrics. i am focused on the first verse but then i find myself just mumbling the words i know.

alright...
i'm singing to my Savior...my Daddy, my Love. sure, there are times where i have trouble focusing during worship time in church (my ADD brain takes over). but that PLUS not grasping the full meaning of the song? that's so rude! i would not want someone who loves me to sing me a song without paying attention to the lyrics. just like i would not, in order to show my appreciation and love, go to my parents and belt out Beyonce's "All the Single Ladies" (yes mom, that example's for you). it has no meaning. so to be in my car yesterday and realize that i had no clue what i just sang, was sobering and embarrassing. Is God really up there smiling at and delighting in my half-hearted attempt to worship Him?
Matthew 15:8
"These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."
My true desire is to lay my heart down at the feet of my Savior during worship...not keep it from Him.
Which brings me to the verse in "Come Thou Fount" that i very clearly understood and related to:
"Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above."
It is so frustrating how prone i am to leave the God i love. how humbling to know He is always there awaiting my return...i'll never understand.
i'm feeling like this entry was a little scattered but i'm distracted by the hype of a runaway stabber a couple blocks away! first this morning there was a robbery at the mcdonalds by campus....then later tonight a guy stabbed someone at that same location. thank goodness for friends who like to have sleepovers.

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved,  clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12