why do I ever doubt God's desire or even ability to be personal? I have experienced it multiple times, you would think I would realize by now that my God is very, very personal. He loves to bless us with things that we feel is specifically for us in that moment.
In all honesty, my Jesus time has been lacking and as I have said earlier, it is definitely taking its toll on me. This morning, I was reminded that time spent with Him will always be blessed. I can't walk away from hanging out with Jesus and feel more stressed, more burdened, etc. I normally won't share any part of journal entries I write because it is my intimate reflection and prayer time with God, but today I have to give the Big Man a shout out on cyberspace because I am completely humbled.
"Abba, you know my insecurities and my feelings of inadequacy. More times than not, I can't get past them. They cripple me from letting your light shine out of me. Help me surrender them to you so I can fully find my security in you."
eh...it feels weird sharing such an intimate prayer but there it is. My struggle of letting inadequacies control me.
Now here is where I got goose-bumpy and giddy...I opened my "Jesus Calling" devotional book and turned to February 22.
First sentence-"You need Me every moment."
As if the first sentence wasn't enough to grab my attention, this followed soon after:
"Your inadequacy presents you with a continual choice--deep dependence on Me, or despair. The emptiness you feel within will be filled either with problems or My presence."
Completely and totally for me. Why despair when I can be dependent on the one who works everything for the GOOD who love Him (Romans 8:28)?
God loves me. What a blessing to be reminded of my need for Him every second of every day. Too many times my focus is everywhere around me, when everything I need or want is right above me.
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